Comedy Review

Well I've been in Chicago for almost two weeks and have managed to only land my self an unpaid internship, which at least gets me out of the house. Other things that have gotten me out of the house: the local comedy scene. Last week I went to shows on three different nights, so I figured I'd review what I've seen. I mean whats the purpose of having a blog unless you can comment unwarrantedly on people who have worked harder than you.

Last Sunday (5th)

Went to see the Last Comic Standing regionals with Andrew Waple. The people I got to see were the best people who auditioned in the morning (Phil Kijak was there I guess but got screwed out of a audition form, I guess). Also on a totally self-involved note, I may make it on TV due to the fact Waple and I were crammed next to the stage in the second row. There were 23 people on the ballot and we could only choose one. I understand it is very hard to be successful at stand-up so I'm just going to mention notables since I'm sure some of the jokes that bombed go well normally. Anyway my choice went to Mike Baldwin. Unfortunately he didn't get pick but my next top two did Nikki Glaser (who is a super hottie by the way) and John Roy, so watch for them. The other guy, who I forget the name of, got by on the oldest rule of comedy (that I know), pot jokes. He seemed pretty coked up anyways. One notable flop was Jimmy Pardo, a guy who is normally very funny and was by far the only name in the room. Unfortunately he relied on it and made jokes about him being more famous than he was. Unfortunately in a room full of amateurs, he was the most successful so they probably sounded a bit less funny too the audience. "I wish I could drive a firebird."

Friday Night (10th)

I saw two Improv Olympic shows this night. Its a funny all around story though. I went to the bar to wait for to guys in my IO class Steve and Neil (neither who could come), so while I drink a beer this guy starts complaining to me about his friend being late. So I go to one of the IO shows on the upperstage as opposed to the Harolds and ended up seeing The Improv Shakespear Company. The premise of which is that they take a name from the audience and form an entire Shakespearean play at least by the sound of their lines. Actually quite funny; they barely really used the title in the play, but that's just a quibble. This was an interesting situation where everyone looked good but one guy (and they never introduced themselves but I'll put it up if I find it ever) who just stood out above everyone else. At one point he did a long scene by himself playing two characters, something they'd discourage in improv but it got to the story point where it was necessary, anyways could have made me pee a little.

After that I went back to the bar to get a drink before I headed home and the same guy who was there complaining before was now with his buddy a bitter level 5 student, Rich. Anyways the original guy, Dino, and the other start swapping stories with me and keep feeding me shots and beers on Dino's tab. Super sweet.

So Dino has to take off so Rich and I go to check out the midnight harolds. The first one I went to check out was the Cook County Social Club. I'll prefice this by saying I was pretty drunk, but this group didn't impress me. I got too confused and I couldn't tell when they were making transistions or tying things back to the beginning. But this is a Friday show so it could have been because I was drunk or they were having an off night or both. The follow up Harold was the last performance of Concept Album, one that I had heard about before. They do their Harold to the soundtrack of a random iPod in the background. The music really just set the mood for their topic of "blowjob." These guy just slid from one scene to the other but actually made me laugh. Of course they were definately helped by the mood music.

Saturday Night (11th)

I ended up meeting up with Neil to go see "Don't Spit the Water" at the Playground. This is sort of like that old comedy central show were the comedian tries to make the audience member laugh or in this case spit out the full mouth of water they have. This is more character based where actor's come out as a crazy character; in this case your "dad," a hillbilly hick (no that's not redundant), and a spanish tv character obsessed with sex toys. Pretty humorous but I went more since Neil is going to be trying out for that next weekend. I should also point out they opened with a jug band Thump Stompers and I thought to myself....I think I'm seeing Dave Sheehan's future.

Anyways thats all.

Things I have learned

It's been five days now living in Chicago so let me tell you the things I have learned so far:

1) I am not in fact Puerto Rican. One would think this is obvious yet people feel the need to point this out.

2) apparently mostly Puerto Ricans live in Humboldt Park. I don't feel unsafe but I feel it is a bad sign when the bus driver doesn't stop because he thought your bell ringing was "just being ironic."

3) When you're superbly drunk and hiccuping uncontrollably, people give you plenty of space on the train.

4) Finding jelly in the grocery store is nothing short of a challenge. Sure I could have systematically gone up and down the aisles but I prefer to move in a random motion guessing what aisles it might be in. Plus I like to blame my own shortcomings on others.

5) Some buses stop running. This was a fun surprise. The resulting bus change meant I had to walk half a block as opposed to just out the front door.

6) Apparently they do ticket outside. My roommate with her Iowa plates has never gotten a ticket on the street in the months she has lived here. It took me 22 hours to receive one. And the reason on the ticket was "because Michigan is Gay!" Which makes no sense to me because how can you tell what state is what gender anyways.

7) I find the fact my neighbors are opposed to blinds and me staring at them to be perplexing.

8) My key ring of 15 keys has about 3 usable ones. The rest have uses but unless I plan doing things like "switching fuses" or "getting the mail" there really is no point to them.

9) That the "don't take candy from strangers" rule does not apply to me as I received a muffin from a paper sack in exchange for gum on the train. Plus it was a muffin I don't know if it counts.

10) My roommate can take shots while on a phone interview and still have them offer to fly her to a third interview. I feel this is a good role model.

Finally I Know who NOT to Blame

Jim Hopson the headmaster at Michelle Williams former school, the Santa Fe Christian school, has reportedly ended all ties with the actress because of her role as Heath Ledger's wife in Brokeback Mountain. He claims the film does not support the ideals the school stands for and does not want anyone associating said values with the school via Williams.

Thank god he performed this service to the American public. Up until this point I had been trying in vein to finger point who was at fault for corrupting our youth. Naturally I tried to blame the upbringing and education of an actress in the film who's role portrayed the suffering of a wife trying to uphold the sanctity of marriage. Even though I didn't know the name of the school that she attended, I was sure that once it was found out that I and other moral crusaders could crash down upon it with our God's hand of justice.

But what a 180 I've pulled now. By disassociating himself and the school from Williams, Hopson has guaranteed that I will never think of Santa Fe Christian school in this light. He was completely right to take these steps know the week before the Oscars when this would be sure to make national news with all sorts of internet outlets jumping on any relevant (ie mentions the name of the movie) stories.

So now in his time of crisis I hope everyone can pray for Hopson and the Santa Fe Christian School because without prayer and a self indulgent interview with the national press, we might never been able to not think of Santa Fe Christian School when we think of Brokeback Mountain. At least my conscience is clear.