All Right I Get It, You're a Disenchanted Youth

I just saw The Chumscrubber. The previews for it had actually enticed me to see it but about five minutes I realized I was once again taken by quick editing, fancy camera tricks, and an "indie" feel soundtrack.

Okay I get it people. Surburbia is full of cookie cutter houses and people where the parents are clueless to their kids actions. Kids meanwhile don't care about anything and are probably on some sort of pills. The Chumscrubber is literally a kid (cartoon wise but we're steep w/ symbolism here) without a head who picks up and carries on as normal. Get it? No seriously do you? Because if you don't get it, watch the making of feature. Then you will be assured that you just in fact witnessed the pinnacle of human achievement in film (or about to). I'm sure Holden Caulfield is creaming his pants in excitement from the world he's inspired.

Perhaps today's youth doesn't care about anything or seemingly so because are parents were to self obsessed to listen to us and instead got us prescriptions for mind numbing drugs in order to "help" us. But hey at least Tom Cruise is on our side and perhaps is the best messenger in this situation.

For every good movie of this ilk : American Beauty (which I would perceive as the movie the rest would like to emulate), Garden State, Igby Goes Down, perhaps more that I can't remember but hey I'm disenfranchised; Hollywood feels they can tap into our demographic by pushing out another film like Chumscrubber with loosely conceived plot, a bunch of familiar actors obsessing on their achievements and suburbia setting that half of America couldn't afford to live in. The problem with this formula is: it's working. You get a mass of kids who feel this reflects them in some how and accept it as a defining movie of their upbringing. Fine if it makes you feel better about yourself, that someone understands you than I'm all for it. Just remember when someone understands you then they can exploit you to make money.

Wow I kind of got heated there, probably means it's time for me to take some pills and watch cartoons for the rest of the day. They're awesome.

UPN & WB Merge: Millions now only need to ignore 1 additional station

Today it was announced that UPN and the WB will merge into one channel called CW.

This decision I fully applaud. Finally black people, teenage girls, and basic cable wrestling fans will be able unite harmoniously...on different nights from the comfort of their own homes presumably.

I should probably mention something about FCC regulations and how this will be a massive headache since the affiliates of either station aren't generally supposed to broadcast to the same market area (more applicable to the smaller markets such as 75 percent of America), but that's not us the viewers problem. Although it would explain why CBS Corp (which owns UPN) and Warner Brothers Entertainment (that'd be the WB) haven't set a time table yet.

But my underused telecommunications major aside we should all be excited by the possibility of this merger. Just imagine this:

"This week on Smallville, Superman battles Jon Cena. With special guest star: The Cast of Girlfriends!!!"

Spectacular. It'd be like a miniature battle of the network stars.

Here is how I think the merger came about during a phone conversation between UPN President Dawn Ostroff and WB COO John Matta.

JM: Osssstroffff. What's up girl?

DO: Not much J-dawg. Just chillin. You?

JM: I was just wondering which one of us was the fifth ranked network. I forgot.

DO: I never look at those it's way too depressing.

JM: Yeah me neither. I rarely even bother to schedule half the time.

DO: I here that. To bad we can't just combine channels, then we'd be a force.

--long silent pause--

JM: That might work and would in no way jeopardize the core audience from our niche networks.

DO: Totally. And with our first Golden Globe nom this year we could double our total.

JM: Wow awesome! Let's talk this over while we go egg the PAX network.

DO: Yeah they're such losers.